When I got home about a week ago, even a reduced but otherwise normal schedule has caught up with me; I've probably slept over 50 hours out of the last 72 and I'm still feeling somewhat fatigued. I think that this more than anything else has prompted a string of thoughts about the lines of mortality and acknowledging the toll that's being exacted on me not just physically but also mentally and emotionally. But there's been plenty of other stuff to think about.

I've since learned more about my attacker: I choose not to reveal her name at this point, but I will say that she was convicted of misdemeanor assault involving two homeless men in January and had been released on unsupervised probation. I initially described her as appearing to be a relatively husky person, but according to people who identified her later, she's actually a relatively small person who was wearing very baggy clothes. As far I know, she remains incarcerated with bail set at $500k, though it was initially set at $1 million. Not sure what to make of that. Initially described as psychotic by the officer who talked with me in the hospital ER, a subsequent conversation with the lead investigator with the Pasadena police has given me a little more to think about. Every news article I've managed to find has described me as sitting at a picnic table with friends, However, even with the apparent mental instability, it seemed clear to police that my assailant came to the park with the clear intent to kill someone that was part of a church group. I was initially worried that my home church had been specifically targeted, but someone pointed out that there is a grapevine of sorts amongst the homeless about where services are provided and the source thereof. I'll probably clarify this with police if possible, but for now, one of the thoughts that sits with me is that I've suffered for my faith. I'm not sure where this is going to go.

Since the attack as been classified as a first-degree (premeditated) attempted murder, sentencing starts at 15 to life imprisonment, and while I don't fully comprehend the nuances, her use of a box cutter, ups the minimum sentence to life plus four years. Apparently the extra years factor into how soon it would be for her eligibility for parole if parole was a possibility based on her sentence, if I understand this correctly, her minimum sentence if convicted would be 19 to life, and be eligible for parole in 19 years. Of course this assumes a conviction; she may well manage to negotiate a plea of some sort or use some sort of insanity defense which greatly increases her chances of being released back into society in a relatively short amount of time though her two recent misdemeanor convictions will come to light.. But I shouldn't really worry about that at this point.

There was no way I was going to miss being back at the park the following Tuesday night. I don't think most of the people we served that night were even aware of what had happened the previous week. Most of them had already left by the time I was attacked the week before. But I noticed that one person who I will refer to as D, who has a rep for being rather sarcastic and snarky in conversation kept close by over the course of the evening and when talking with me, kept sweeping the park behind me with his eyes. That reinforced my resolve to continue my efforts on Tuesdays.