Expectations

I'm still thinking about last week. It's not fully synthesized in my mind.

Apparently all it took was an extra large slice of watermelon to prompt a desire to be helpful instead of looking to put one's own wants and needs first. That and, for want of a better way of putting it, not caring on my part as to whether that person merited my gift.

Don't get me wrong;  I do believe it both prudent and healthy to establish guidelines and boundaries - there is a difference between helping and enabling, although I'm beginning to see that the line isn't as clear cut as I thought.

As far as I can tell, "M" responded to a level of kindness that I've withheld in the past when I've encountered people who've exhibited behavior that I'd categorize as chronic high maintenance. As I ponder it, it seems like my compassion is somewhat conditional, and this attitude carries over to how I've responded  by feeling annoyed the last few weeks as I'd grown accustomed to having a lot of people waiting to help carry stuff from my car to the picnic tables to having to carry stuff myself and having only 1-2 people help while everyone else stood passively in line waiting for food.

Every act of kindness Jesus performed was prompted by compassion - a compassion I seem to be lacking when encountering people like "M". The reality is that I close myself off to a lot of people based on expectations I've developed over the years. I guess it's time to examine this.