LEON

is the name of a tuesday night regular. he's typically barefoot and shirtless, struggles with bipolar disorder, and hasn't had a job since the 90's. he's not always there when we start to serve dinner, but when he does show, he's typically one of the last to leave.  he drinks to help himself get through the day, and sometimes it's apparent when he shows up for dinner and he can come off as somewhat scatter-brained then. even so, in general, he come across as surprisingly cheerful, and whenever i spend time talking with him, he invariably says something that i end up thinking about during my drive home from the park. i've really come to enjoy interacting with him.  he's said that the police know him and his situation, and apparently when leon can tell that he's losing it, he'll ask the police to take him in and keep him overnight. he's mentioned riding the merry-go-round in santa monica as one of the things he does regularly to cheer himself up, because we all need to do things like that occasionally to get by. he talks matter of factly about his life in general that i have found myself marveling that someone who has basically been crapped on all his life can be so seemingly cheerful.

this week i got a chance to have a long extended conversation with him after everyone else left, and i spent over 2 hours talking with him until well after 10 pm (we typically stop serving by 7:30 and hang out - sometimes we get to the planned scripture reading, sometimes, someone will have a question and we'll just talk until 8 or 8:30.)

now i marvel at him all the more; after talking about this and that for a while, i told him that i found it amazing that he seemed to be so cheerful. i wasn't expecting his response: that as soon as he left for the evening, he would immediately begin to struggle with depression, and how he would pray to god for hours. he talked about being angry with god for his situation, for god making him black, for everyone treating him like dirt. he talked about thinking about killing himself. then he said something that just made my day: he wouldn't kill himself because he believes that he was created for a reason, even though he didn't know what it was yet.

i'm pulling for him to figure out what that reason is, and i so want to be around when he does.